It has been quite a while since I felt your tingle. I have been quite hard at work and have not been paying attention to you. We did have brief conversations from time to time and you have led me up to quite a few window shopping sprints. But I have had to step back to the commitments I had and couldn't entertain your notions.
I remember the last time I entertained you and I got burned pretty bad. You do teach some good lessons. But I wonder why you are so fickle? Why are you not satisfied once you get what you want? Isn't that what you asked for in the first place?
I understand you drive us as humans forward. You are what pulled us out of our caves and got us to explore what is out there. You come in so many forms, in survival, in seeking better living conditions, in living, in invention & innovation, in procreation, in entertainment, in knowledge. And yet as we climb up the hierarchy of needs, you shift your eye to the wants and luxuries. You are ever insatiable.
Often satisfying you once leads to a spiral of more. I willingly sign the contract with you to be unhappy until I get what you want and yet, you mutate faster than a virus and leave behind a trail of emptiness. There is always a positive side to you and a negative that I grapple with. I wish things were simpler.
I acknowledge that you have gotten me to places where I wouldn't have gone before, that your highs are sometimes worth it. I just wish it wasn't so hard to reign you in, that the lows you take me to aren't so dark and depressing.
I definitely enjoyed our most recent dance a couple of days back. You had your claws in me and I couldn't let go until we reached a crescendo. In the little moments of the day, I found myself lost in time and space as the result of your actions. But again I see the downsides in the tangent it has taken me on.
I wish that after it all you would have let me have some peace instead of seeding new thoughts and ideas. Someday, I hope you find your peace and you get to ride off into the sunset.
Until then, I shall engage in our tango.
Until the next owl delivery,
Never yours always,
15th, October 2023