2024 in review: A Graceful Year with Dreams Realized
Because I choose to
2024! Ah, what can I say about this year? Surely it did shape my life. I am never ceased to be surprised at how much can change in a single year. Year on year, I am amazed at how much can happen in a short span to shake things up.
My consistency, persistence, commitment, and adaptability were all tested this year. It's safe to say that I have failed as much as I succeeded as I came to realize the amount of responsibility that falls on my shoulder. My choices shape my destiny and each and every choice I made has led me to where I am today. But each choice isn't as simple as it seems, and I have found myself weighed down by its consequences many-a-time.
Migrating Atomic Snow
Writing was consistent this year as well. It all was maintained with the fortnightly Atomic Snow. Considering the topic and the idea of the newsletter seemed to diverge from the core of this blog, I segmented it out into a separate substack, which I launched earlier this year.
Previously, every off week, I would write up some article, story or thought as I pondered on the next edition of Atomic Snow. But having split it out, I settled into the two week rhythm of writing. Writing did feature in some forms across the year, but nothing stayed as consistent as Atomic Snow.
100% better
69 days into the year (its an odd coincidence I assure you), I embarked on a new routine to be 100% better. Yes, I had read 1% is a better start, helps with consistency and all. But I was exasperated with postponing progress, so I chose to lump a few habits together: getting up early, exercise, cycling, playing the guitar and writing; all needed to be done before getting to work.
That is how 21 days of snow began on the 10th of March. And I did successfully get through 21 days (incl. Sundays) and then pushed for 42, then 84 and so on. Yes, by the time I reached the later days, I began slacking, but I pushed to stay on the cycle and now we are close to 300 days. Lot of slackness in between, but I have seen that it is possible.
This will definitely lay the seed for the resolutions of the new year.
You've Got Mail
Every so often, a movie comes that changes your life. "You've Got Mail" is that movie for me. I often dabble with bringing fantasy into the real world. I try out experiments to enact out scenarios and see how the results turn out. Little did I know that one such experiment would click and help me discover grace.
Perhaps taking a shot in the dark is all we need to find what we are looking for. But leaning into our quirks and putting it out in the world, thats where the true magic lies.
Writing
This year featured experiments with fantasy. I was able to write a story beyond a few paragraphs, quite a few pages actually and it was only the direction where it went that scared me and made me stop writing. I still have to learn not to get too involved with my characters and allow the play of darkness and light on their lives.
This October, I experimented with a format I long desired, the Inktober series for 2024. I made use of prompts from Inktober and the local Chennai Anime Club's Inkfest to weave a story and I loved every moment of it. I had some help with the images with Grace and AI and man, I can tell you I am proud of the results. You can check it out in the article below.
Godric Snow
Real life takes the wheel
When real life takes the wheel, everything takes a back seat. This comes in the form of media we consume. I guess that it is a good thing that I wasn't trying to escape to other worlds as this one held a lot of my time and attention. Still I found myself filling the gaps of the day with a few media.
Series
Of the series I watched, the one that is noteworthy and definitely a recommendation is Succession. This is a brilliant series that sets up its characters quite well and by the end of the series, I was quite satisfied by how it all turned out. Each and every person in the series is fleshed out and I found myself rooting for some until I gave up on them. And unlike Game of Thrones, the series doesn't screw up its finale. It doesn't even overstay its welcome. There was one point in the series where I was hit hard by a certain event and I had to remind myself that it was just fiction (How had they managed to pull off such a depth of connection?)
Another series that was quite good was Fallout, made by the creators of Westworld. I could see the similar vein of storytelling with the parallel, async timelines and how events converge. I loved the direction they went with and felt very nostalgic with the game. If you do not know, Bethesda games are very well fleshed out RPGs with hours and hours of gameplay and right now, I am right in the middle of Fallout 4, roaming the Wasteland with no idea as to where to go.
On a final note on series, I did a rewatch of the Office (as always), Psych (its on Netflix now), A.P. Bio (which I properly finished, although the last season left a bad taste in my mouth) and have stopped myself from starting anything else with high time investment. Earlier this year I did do a couple of k-dramas, rewatched Pinnochio (that series addictive) and finished Romance is a Bonus Book (that's a pretty good one).
Gaming
I haven't had much time for games over the past few months. Its been the same cycle of booting up the console, losing time choosing a game and then winding down. But I did play a bit of Hogwarts: Legacy (love the vibe of the world), Starfield (took a break just as it was getting exciting with Starborn), Dead Space (solid remake of the original. I am on Chapter 8), and finally, Star Wars: Jedi Survivor on the Series X. The game I am currently playing is Star Wars and that is quite fun.
Persona 5 Royal still remains unfinished on the PS4, waiting for my time and my patience to finish the last couple of dungeons. The Phantom Hearts have been ousted as the villian and its upto me to clear their names.
Reading
The year started strong with Inheritance, which in my opinion was a great start. Although the reread did not go as expected because I wanted to take a break and allow the story to settle in. I followed that up with Little Prince, which was quite deep even for its length.
I started Pride and Prejudice and life had other plans. Left it at chapter 4 and it was only months later that I started another book, Kafka on the shore, which I left in the middle to get back to the Inheritance cycle with The Fork, the Witch and the Worm.
I did listen to an audiobook, Neverwhere by Neil Geiman, which was a good short listen. It has a great voice cast including James McAvoy and Natalie Dormer in the lead. I would love to return to the world of London Below and explore further.
It's a juggle, not a balancing act
Balance is not the way. Trying to balance too many things at once builds burden over time making it harder to sustain. Balance is a lie. There is always seepage of one responsibility into the other.
The key is to keep as many balls in the air as long as you can so each gets its due time when focused upon.
The price of mental peace
What would you pay to have no regrets? I always wondered if I could afford the price. But I don't think anything is as expensive and taxing as regret and worst of it all is that it does not come with a solution. I believe when we have the opportunity, it is a small cost to pay if it is only money that we have to part with.
I was irresponsible and slack for a few moments and I almost lost one of the most precious things I own (the things we own end up owning us, but that is to be explored another day). My purse was lighter, but my heart even more so, when I was able to restore what was broken.
I learnt an important lesson, or two I should say: Do not slack away, or heavy is the price to pay. I feel like this lesson has come to me again this year, after I faced a similar situation earlier last year and that too was another piece of electronics of mine.
The importance of sleep
I found myself irritable in the latter part of many-a-day and getting quick to anger. I went so far as to validate my rage and later with a clear mind, I saw how irrational I was being. I could trace it back to my sleep, or lack thereof.
Sleep affected my attention. It affected my mood. It affected my concentration and my ability to do work. It even affected the people around me as I grumbled at them. I had to and have to remind myself of its importance and how much I should value it.
Time management
What do you choose to give your time to?! What you consume, consumes you. I found myself not comfortable with the silent moments of the day seeking the distraction of instagram or Netflix. I filled these moments with binging or doom scrolling and was never giving my mind the chance to settle.
It is so strange how it has become involuntary, how my hand goes to my mobile automatically and looks for instagram and then begins scrolling mindlessly. But the moments I realize this is happening, I stop myself and redirect my attention. I even uninstalled Instagram for a month and found that helped reset the habit, but pretty soon I was back on the cycle.
The only solution that seems to work is to be engaged, so engaged that even resting moments, the mind relaxes and wanders ratehr than looking for a fix. Another juggle that I have to train and make my mind a master of.
Moving up the ranks
It is so easy being in the field, keeping your head down and following orders. All we need to do then is complete the task at hand. It can be achieved with mechanical precision. And now with AI that job is getting even easier.
Moving up the pecking order, there is a need to survey the entire battlefield and not only plan the tasks to be executed, but all the intricacies and interdependencies between them. It is easy to field overwhelmed as gauging a few moves ahead requires focus and vision. It is that challenge that I was faced with and that which I work to master.
Closing Thoughts
This has been a fine year indeed. Just when I almost lost hope, I was presented with what I wished for. That made me believe that there are bigger forces at play, forces beyond our comprehension. Yet the importance of choices made by me are not lost. With great power comes great responsibility and the choices I make seem to go a long way in shaping my destiny.
So much of progress, or lack thereof, rooted in decisions I made and I was in awe at how much power I wield. It is easy to surrender responsibility and let someone else take the reins. But that would not make for an exciting life. So, as I close out this year, I choose to be better and take responsibility for all my actions.
To a closing out an amazing year and welcoming the next with open arms and ever graceful hope. See you guys on the other side.